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A Word from Shane

by Shane Stacey on February 7th, 2011

When I was ministering in North Dakota for eight years, I made a promise to myself:  I'll never resign in February!  And this year it seems that North Dakota has shared their annual winters with the rest of the country. (For a laugh, check out this video...it's all too familiar this year.) 

So, here we are in February.  How are you doing? 

You see, there were two reasons why I said I'd never resign in February.  The first was, of course, because of the long winters.  After the first few years I discovered that it didn't really matter how well life and ministry were going, the winters did have some affect on me.  When March/April hit with the balmy 40 degree days and all the college students began walking to class in shorts and flip flops, I found there was just a different spring in my step.   

But the other reason was I had found that in my own rhythm, February was just about mid-school year.  I often found myself a bit winded in February as I stood between the rush of the fall, the holidays, January retreats on the one side and planning spring break trips on the other, the last half of the school year, lots of teens with depression (I guess the weather affected them too), preparing to launch another senior class and making plans for summer trips (and of course those beloved fundraisers). 

Over the years I discovered that what I needed was to take some time in February to pull back (even if that simply meant giving myself an extra hour in the morning or evening) to have a important conversation with….myself.    

One of the most important practices that as humans (let alone ministry leaders) that we need to build into our rhythm is time to have conversation with ourselves.   We need to pause and ask ourselves some key reflective questions that get us beyond the demands of the church and everyone else’s soul and gets us down to tending to our own. 

This past summer, I read an article by Gordon MacDonald on this very issue.  He offered a list of possible questions to help us in that conversation with ourselves.   Below I’ve listed six of my favorite questions that MacDonald suggested.   I’ve tucked these away in my personal retreat day folder.  I pull them out each month and usually pick one to reflect on and journal about (writing in my journal seems a lot less weird then talking to myself out loud…especially when I’m at Starbucks).  

1. What have been the beautiful moments in which God may have been revealing himself to me? And what have been the evil moments when the worst in me or in the larger world showed itself?
2. What have my prevailing feelings been (and what are they at the present)? Has there been a preponderance of sadness, of fear, of anger, of emptiness? Or has it been a time where joy and enthusiasm has been the dominant mood?
3. Have things happened for which I need to accept responsibility, perhaps leading to repentance? Why did this happen? Were they avoidable and how can they prevented in the future?
4. Is there a possibility that I am living in denial or certain realities? Painful criticism, sloppy work, habitual patterns that are hurting me or others?
5. As a leader visualizing myself in the company of spouse, children, friends, colleagues: am I a pleasant person to be around? Are people challenged, elevated, enthused when I enter the room? As someone observed, “Some people bring joy wherever they go; others bring joy when they go.”  Which am I?
6. What specific steps will I take today to enhance growth as a follower of Jesus?

They seem simple, but I’ve found that as I take time to reflect on these sorts of questions, I feel more in tune with who I am…more connected to the real me.   And, needless to say, they often lead me to another conversation, this time… with God.   And if I’m honest, it is not rare that a third conversation starts with my supervisor, my wife or a trusted friend.   

Let’s be people who are not only in tune with God, youth and youth culture, and the inner workings of our churches, but men and women who are in tune with our own hearts.